Walk around the block
I took a walk around my neighborhood today taking in California and realizing how different it is from Florida. There are no garages located on the front side of homes but only behind accessible by alleyways. As I strode through the Valley where I am staying for a couple weeks, I started thinking about life.
I passed by a mother and son riding bikes together around the block. As I walked further, I then passed a father and son playing basketball where the little boy was making every basked in without using the backboard. The boy was a spitting image of his father making me wonder if the man was living out his lost childhood dreams through his current youth.
Around the block was a yard with at least five kids riding around a mini Jeep Wrangler with grandma and grandpa watching the boundaries with intrigued eyes. The neighboring house to the immediate right held a mother and daughter playing ring-around-a-rosey.
I knew the Valley was mostly comprised of families but this many? My mind started to drift to my personal life. I am out in California to find myself this summer, but is finding yourself simply finding the answers to what someone really wants? I have always despised the thought of children unless they are coming from my own womb and even then I imagine myself as a career women pushing them off upon their father.
Seeing these families made me wonder if I am really alone and want children after all. Maybe I feel so alone because as nature intended, we as human beings, are supposed to reproduce and maybe I am tired of fighting this factor. Sometimes, one strives to be different so hard but it’s fighting the will of purpose.
As I ended my pensive walk of thought I admired and stopped to sniff some of the wildflower like roses. Maybe right now I am focusing on the thorns of my life when I should be breathing in more rose pedals.
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